Nudists

Nudists are crazy! They walk naked around children. How the hell do you walk around naked with children nearby? Do you know how traumatic that is? I went blind when I first saw my grandma naked. Imagine how these kids are suffering by the sight of these naked old people at these nude beaches. The sight of saggy breasts and wrinkled balls can stunt a kid's growth or make him mentally retarded. I would never go to one of those nudists outings with kids around. First of all, I would feel like a pedophile seeing all those naked children. Second, my big black penis would scare them. Kids would see my junk and run away from me like I'm Bigfoot. That's why black guys stay away from nude beaches. They don't want anyone to pass out and faint by the sight of their cocks.
I don't know how these nudists don't get aroused at these naturist clubs. I can't even take my clothes off without getting a boner. I have a boner right now and I'm not even naked. If I went to one of those nudist resorts, I'd be harder than a diamond. I'd walk around with an erection everywhere – near the pool and near the food. My banana is bigger than that banana on the table!
I wish nudist resorts were allowed to women only. All men, except for me, should be banned from being nude in public. There's nothing worse than going to a nudist resort and being invited to play tackle football on the beach with a bunch of naked dudes. Ugh! I'd rather play beach volleyball with the naked old ladies instead.
These nudists have the nerve to ride horses on the beach with no clothes on. You can't put your smelly bare ass on a horse! That's close to animal abuse. Just because the horse can't talk doesn't mean it's okay with you riding it butt naked. If I were that horse, I'd throw your nudist ass to the grass. And run you over like the Belmont Stakes.