What did I just see?!!?

EVERYBODY BACK THE EFF UP.

"Fuck Sammy the Bull, Fuck John Gotti, I'm comin' home and I'm gangsta."

I just turned on the TV and THAT'S the first thing I heard.

WHO talks like that?!?

WHO???

These women:

That's who.

I popped on the tube while stuffing Easter baskets and WHAM!! VH1 socked me in the jaw with Mob Wives. After watching for 10 minutes I grabbed my lap top and ran scurry flurry right to you guys. What in the hell. Am I going to jail for this? Is the FBI listening? Seriously, this shit is danger.

These women live on Staten Island. The Jersey Shore kids WISH these women were their moms. Danielle Staub holds them in very  high esteem. They use phrases like "have a sit down", "wack", "whad'ah'ya'gonna'do" and of course "for'geda'boud'it"...and it all sounds strangely appropriate. Oh, and they put family in quotes.  Having a loved one in jail is not only okay, it's expected and celebrated. They make Kathleen Turner's gravel-voice sound like Glinda the Good Witch. Half the show is filmed surveillance-style: mili-second timers on black and white security cameras, telephoto lens freeze frames, red arrows point out persons of interest,  typewriter-type name tags to introduce new characters in still shots, so on and so forth. 

And that was in the 20 minutes I watched.

Will I watch again? I don't know. Should you see just a bit of it just once? Absolutely. Will a lot of people be closet-watchers? What do you think...

...Look at that! I  already mimicking their manner of speech!!

Amuurica, in case there was any doubt, Mob Wives is all the proof we need that we've officially screwed ourselves.

Good luck.