CELEBRITY THANKFULS

With Thanksgiving just a few days away, celebrities are giving thanks and sharing the things that they are thankful for. Here are some celebrity thankfuls:





Amy Winehouse

"I is thankful for being clean and sober now. This year was a bloody mess for me. Me thinks that next year will be splendid and terrific. Me will try to stay away from the dope and the dealer. But never say never. Life is rubbish without the pipe in me hands (smoking crack)."



O.J. Simpson

"I'm thankful for the support I've received in prison from the other convicts. They're very nice to me. No one has tried to have sex with me yet. These guys look up to me. I don't know why. I'm also thankful to the police officials who continue to search for Nicole's Killer. Nicole deserves justice and her murderer needs to rot in hell (gulp)."



SOON TO BE EX-PRESIDENT BUSH

"I'm thankful for the citizens of the United States of North America for electing me to 8 terms. It's been fun, but now I have to step down. Borat Obama will be a great president. This continent is in good hands. Alright I have to go now. I'm going to Disney World."



SARAH PALIN

"I'm thankful for Barack Obama winning the election. Now I get to run for president in 2012. I'm also thankful for Senator John McCain choosing me as his running mate, even though he didn't really want to. Maybe on Thanksgiving he can come over to the house and enjoy some good ol' cooking with my husband and kids, and my teenage daughter and her kids. But his staff isn't invited."



MILEY CYRUS

"I'm thankful for all my fans and my 30 year old boyfriend for supporting me and giving me the strength to perform and succeed. I'm also thankful for all the pedophiles who watch Hannah Montana and made it the number one show on the Disney Channel. Is there anything else I'm thankful for? I guess my dad."



JOHN MCCAIN

"I'm thankful for all the support and the votes I received in the election. Without those votes, I wouldn't have stood a chance. I'm not thankful for choosing Sarah Palin as a running mate. I blame Sarah Palin and Tina Fey for ruining my chances as the next president of the United States. I'm thankful to Florida. Even though I didn't win that state, I still plan on retiring there - tomorrow."



BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE

"We're thankful for adopting beautiful children from other countries. Let's face it, the children in this country are not that attractive to look at, like us. We're also thankful for not allowing Jennifer Aniston into our house. We've got electric fences to keep her jealous ass away from us."



HILLARY CLINTON

"I'm thankful for Sarah Palin not getting into office. Now the media can focus on a real female politician. I'm also thankful for Barack Obama selecting me as Secretary of State. Now I will finally get my revenge on Obama and put vodka in his coffee. He'll be the first black and drunk president."



PRESIDENT-ELECT BARACK OBAMA

"I'm thankful for America making the right decision and choosing me as the 44th president of the United States. America wants change and America will get it. But America, what I didn't tell you is that change takes time. Change may come in three or four years. It took ten years before the Tampa Bay Rays finally made the playoffs. If we want to make the playoffs, we have to be patient. Yes we can. Yes we can wait! I'm also thankful to Oprah. I didn't forget about you Oprah. Call me."



THE ECONOMY

"I'm thankful for being barely alive right now. I'm on life support, but hopefully I can make a full recovery. I'm thankful to the people of America for kicking the Republicans out of office. They did this to me. And so did those greedy companies and banks. President-elect Obama, you have to save me or else I'll die motherfucker. SAVE ME!!!"





HAPPY THANKSGIVING