Shhhhh!

I know what I'll do next time I got to a movie theater, I'll bring a big bag of food! It being impossible to eat either just before or just after a movie so I'll dine right there in the theater. First I'll open a can of soda. Pop fizz, the wonderful sounds of a can opening and cool refreshment on its way! Then I'll unwrap a sandwich, open a bag of chips and finish by tearing the wrapper of a candy bar. Oh, I may struggle with it a bit but I'll eventually get that darn wrapper off. Hmm, it’ll be dark during the movie so I may have to root around in the bag a bit but I'll be done before the movie's even half over!

Here's another thing I can do: chew gum! No, not discreetly. I’ll chomp away. The person sitting in front of me will understand.

Gee, l sure hope I don't forget to turn my cell phone off! If I don’t though, it's no big deal as cell phones ringing in public places is a common enough occurrence.

Maybe I should bring a friend and we can chat during the movie, comment on the characters, wonder what's taking place, and ask each other questions. Of course we'll keep our voices down to practically a whisper.
Yes there's nothing like a trip to the movies, especially if you're a complete-enough moron that you're able to disregard your fellow patrons.

Enjoy the show!