Hey bartender, give me my damn drink!

This bartender is busy flirting with girls. He's an asshole.

I despise some of these bartenders. The male ones. Some of them spend the whole night flirting with chicks rather than serving drinks. They think they’re cool. No you’re not. You’re not cool! You’re a fuckin bartender, not a male model. Don’t spend the whole night posing and winking at girls. Do your job and serve me my damn drink. One time I went to a bar and I had to wait 3 hours to get a drink. The bartender was busy chatting with this ugly girl rather than serving people drinks. This girl wasn’t even worth chatting with. She was super ugly. I wouldn’t have sex with her. I’d rather have sex with a shoe box. By the time he finished talking to Chewbacca, it was time for the bar to close. I didn’t even get a sip of tequila. Not even a droplet. I went home sober. It was the worst night of my life. All because of that stupid bartender. And Chewbacca.

These bartenders think they’re magicians. They do tricks behind the bar. They throw the glasses and bottles in the air and juggle them. If I want to see a trick, I’ll go to the circus. I don’t want to see a dude who’s supposed to be serving drinks doing special moves with a Grey Goose bottle. I’m not interested. Just give me my fuckin drink so I can get hammered. And these bartenders expect you to tip them after they’ve completed a trick. Fuck that! I’m not giving you a tip just for switching a drink from one hand to the other. I could do that.

I don’t mind the female bartenders. Especially if they’re good looking. They can do whatever they want behind the bar. I’ll let a female bartender pee in my drink.