On My Mind.......Blerg!

Im totally having issues I think. Whats on my mind? motorcycles, trucks, soda, zumiez, amazing jeans, dvds, small house, guns, teaching...........Greg! Why am I aching for his friendship? This is not what I really want its making everything all sorts of confusing. I must be doing it to myself? How in the world would a friendship even work with how crappy I treated him? Is a friendship what im really wanting or something more? Maybe just the option for something more? see where things go? But I already saw where things went! See I wont say anything, what if he has a gf or is actually engaged like in my dream (i wonder what he did with my ring?)? That would almost hurt even more if I found out he was able to really really move on and I havent! I shouldnt entertain the thought of asking something so stupid! Greg........this is ridiculous......im in need of guidance! WHY, WHY, WHY? HELP!(this needs to get resolved quick)