Sunday, October 7, 2007

The Olsen Twins


What has happened to the Olsen twins? They look like young crack heads. They look high all the time. And they are really skinny. The both of them combined weigh .5 pounds. A Twizzler weighs more than them. One of them supposedly had an eating disorder. Of course you’re going to have an eating disorder when you’re spending all your money on crack. To them getting high is more important than getting healthy. Remember when the Olsen twins were hot, when they were on Full House. I know they were in pre school during that time, but I was only five years older than them. I was the only third grader who had a crush on Michelle Tanner. I used to say “You got it dude” all the time. That was my favorite phrase. I was a big Michelle Tanner fan. And I know there are a lot of sick guys out there who couldn’t wait to see how the Olsen twins look like when they grow up. Now that they’re grown up, those guys probably wish they were young again.
When I see the Olsen twins I can’t tell who’s who. I don’t know who’s Mary-Kate and who’s Ashley. That’s why I just call both of them Michelle. “Oh there goes Michelle.” One of them is now on the Showtime series Weeds. Well that’s what they smoke all day. Being on a show called Weeds is jut another reason for them to get high. Having just one of them on a show is surprising. They’re usually together. I don’t understand why they’re always together. If I had a twin, I would try to distance myself from him as far as possible. Because if he commits a crime, I don’t want to go to jail because I match the perfect description of him.
Imagine if Bob Saget decided to date one of the Olsen twins. How weird would that be. That would be strange to see Danny Tanner dating his own daughter. I would have sex with the Olsen twins. I would have sex with them and make them call me Uncle Jesse. Then I would get high with them.

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