Scarlett Johansson: The sexiest woman alive!

Scarlett Johansson is the sexiest woman in the universe right now. There's no woman even close. I would do anything to meet her. I would throw an old lady down a flight of stairs just to meet her. But I'm just kidding, I would never throw an old lady down a flight of stairs unless it was my grandma. But seriously, if I had to jump off the roof of the Empire State building to meet Scarlett, I would do it in a second. I'm writing my will at this moment. If I met her I would let her fart in my face. Her farts probably smell like roses. I would smell her farts in ecstasy. Having sex with her would be even better. I would have sex with Scarlett Johansson even if she had AIDS. That's better than an autograph. An autograph can fade away, but AIDS can last forever. I would be proud to tell people that I got AIDS from Scarlett Johansson. Then I'll die a happy man.